There are two kinds of people who like Mel Gibson movies: Type A people watch Mad Max, Braveheart and The Patriot and say they admire Gibson's portrayal of a hero, someone who stands up for themselves and others to face of an unstoppable foe, usually played by some evil English dude or Tina Turner. They appreciate his calm demeanor in the most tense of situations. These people are women or just gay and they are lying. They are really just checking out his ass. The other group, Type B, are the people who watch Gibson movies and admire him for how well he can chop off someone's head and then give the corpse a "Nyuk nyuk nyuk" in honor of the late great Curly Howard of the Three Stooges. If you are a Type A person, you're dream has come true. Type B people, please forget this movie was ever released.
The movie begins with promise. Gibson plays a lady's man by night and by day is this advertising guy who specializes in commercials for gin and pro wrestling. That's it, that's where the movie should end, but no, the title of this movie is What Women Want.
The movie foreshadows it's going to pussy out when his estranged fifteen year old daughter moves in with him for two weeks. It gets even worse when the Queen of Wussy Movies, Alan Alda, makes an appearance as Gibson's boss who turns Mel down for a phat promotion and instead gives the job to Helen Hunt. Any other Gibson movie would have taken a dramatic turn and had Hunt develop a British accent and Alda an eye patch, then have the two kidnap Gibson's daughter. Mel would have 48 hours to lead a ragtag group of misfits who would rescue his daughter, liberate Scotland and foil a plan that would stop the flow of the Mississippi River into New Orleans.
But no, as I mentioned once before, the title of this movie is What Women Want. Instead of Gibson driving a nuclear powered funny car across the Alkaline Salt Flats, he gets the ability to read the mind of any woman whom he encounters. Once again, instead of using this power to benefit mankind and help his friends get laid, Gibson helps womankind. He wins the love of his daughter, he convinces Marisa Tomei that she's not crazy, lands the womens division of Nike for the advertising company with an empowering commercial about women, and he stops some geeky broad from overdosing on sleeping pills. Pretty lame if you ask me. The only good part of the movie was when Marisa Tomei and Helen Hunt dyke out in the bathroom of the gun store while Gibson was shooting Alan Alda... oh wait... that's the movie I was thinking about while I was watching this crappy one. That one with Hunt munching Tomei's carpet was called What Men Want. I'm sure that one will be in your local pornographic video and novelty store by Easter.
